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I don’t know how to feel

stepmom92's picture

Submitted by stepmom92 on Sun, 10/10/2021 - 2:03pm

So I had paused Hulu and was about to take a bubble bath. I came back in the living room and saw that my husbands pictures were the screensaver for Amazon echo from his account. They were on random so I didn’t know the pictures were on there. One pops up from July of 2020 and it’s a screenshot pic of his ex wife and his daughter asleep in bed from 6 years ago. The pic from 6 years ago, he screenshot it in 2020. It was mainly on his ex wife because his daughter had his back turned and you could see his ex wife in plan view. We got married may 2019. Should this bother me even though it’s been over a year ago? Because it sure bothers me. I can understand if his daughters face was in plain view, but it was his ex wife’s. He also did tell me he doesn't even remember taking a screenshot of it, but it said memories on the screenshot. 

Comments

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Sun, 10/10/2021 - 2:18pm

It would upset me also.  When you remarried, there must be a break away from the ex,  one should not be thinking about the ex.  They should respect you by not doing this,  this shows no respect.

Your case is different, your DH still has feelings for his ex. They used co parenting excuse to keep in contact with each other.  And keeping involved in each other life.  Just because two people can not live together, does not mean they don't love each other. 
You have a serious problem, you need to see someone to work through this if possible.  He's more worried about the ex then you.  

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Submitted by notsurehowtodeal on Sun, 10/10/2021 - 2:34pm

You posted this exact post yesterday. Now you have added a detail that you included in your responses to yesterdays post. There is no need for a new post - if you sincerely want help - just keep reading and responding to yesterday's post.

BethAnne's picture

Submitted by BethAnne on Sun, 10/10/2021 - 3:41pm

You feel how you feel. Many different people in different relationships will feel differently about this. 

If you do struggle to understand how you are feeling some therapists suggest using things such as a feeling chart or wheel to put a name to what is going on inside you. 

medium.com/@mcgill_dr/emotions-and-feelings-charts-d4ff59ebf86a

Have a look over this and see what resonates with you. Remember that this is your relationship and what you feel matters, not what other people might feel or do in your shoes. 

missgingersnap2021's picture

Submitted by missgingersnap2021 on Sun, 10/10/2021 - 4:08pm

I would be upset and I would tell my DH that it bothered me. Have you talk to him? Is he going to remove it

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Submitted by Aniki-Moderator on Sun, 10/10/2021 - 4:14pm

From her previous (identical) blog...

Submitted by stepmom92 on Sun, 10/10/2021 - 12:01pm

He told me he doesn't even remember screenshotting it and that it was probably an accident. He said I could go in and delete it. 

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Sun, 10/10/2021 - 10:42pm

For some reason a number of failed family contributors who enter follow on blended family marriages have a tendency to cannonise their former marriages, partners and the failed family progeny.

Not something I would allow to go unconfronted in my marriage.  Which I suppose is easy to say since my DW would never do this.  She is too intelligent  to ascribe positive traits to that POS or his shallow and polluted gene pool.  
 

She/we raised an amazing son who has thrived and become a man of character, honor and standing in his life, profession, and community.  As his three younger also out of wedlock Spernidiot spawned half sibs by two other baby mamas have joined the eternal serially failed generations that preceded them.

I would say something if I were you. Worshipping that past makes zero sense.