You are here

Update

Rumplestiltskin's picture

Submitted by Rumplestiltskin on Fri, 02/16/2024 - 11:40am

My SO and I have been doing the "Living Together Apart" thing and put marriage plans on hold. Mostly due to his inability (in my mind) to set boundaries with, well, anyone and everyone in his life. Things have been pretty peaceful since i "dropped the rope" and stopped trying to fight for the relationship i wanted us to have.

I've been focusing on my home and my kids more. My son is set to graduate college and my other kid (f to m trans) is set to graduate HS this May. I made trip plans to go with my youngest and some school friends on a "senior trip" and i'm excited! Before "dropping the rope", i would never have travelled without SO, and due to his kids and their issues with BM2, he wouldn't have been able to go.

SD24 is still living with SO. Well, her cats are. She is rarely there and nobody knows where she really spends her time. SO seems to have given up and she comes and goes as she pleases. BM2 has started "flaking" again, recently leaving town on her custody weekend without telling anyone, so SO has had to keep SS13 more. SS20 has a gf and has not been making himself as available to pick up SO and BM2's slack.

Oh, and remember the young woman SO works with, the one with 2 toddlers by 2 dad's that she's in a custody fight with? The one who he hid texts from, who was giving SO amphetamines and got him hooked? She got fired today and SO seemed really sad. I tried to sound somber when i told him how sorry i was. Maybe this will make him finally "see" that none of that was ok. Or maybe not. In any case, i will work on the only thing i can control. Me.

Comments

JRI's picture

Submitted by JRI on Fri, 02/16/2024 - 12:35pm

Very healthy, Rumplestilskin, I hope you keep it up.  Good!

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Fri, 02/16/2024 - 3:57pm

A drama magnet.  Good for you to disengage!

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Fri, 02/16/2024 - 5:18pm

The one thing that you absolutely control is ending this. So do it. An amphetamine junky, toxic Skid coddling idiot is not a life partner not of enough quality to expose your own kids or yourself to.

Separate households is not enough. End it.

For your own good and for the good of your kids. They are seeing their mother tolerating shit in her life. That is no example any kid, regardless of the age of the kid, should be forced to see.

Nea

Sadielady's picture

Submitted by Sadielady on Fri, 02/16/2024 - 10:33pm

I can relate to your situation. My exH became overly involved in his friendships with young female coworkers. And made me feel like I was a paranoid jealous person. It was soul crushing. I'm glad you're putting yourself first. We all have only one life to live and we all have the right to enjoy that life. From the way you interact on this site, you seem like a person who cares about others. You deserve to be cared for as well. 

Harry's picture

Submitted by Harry on Sat, 02/17/2024 - 8:30am

He will never get it. He happy this way.  Staying in the crazy train. And see you when he can.  Question is are you happy ?

Lillywy00's picture

Submitted by Lillywy00 on Sat, 02/17/2024 - 11:07pm

Before "dropping the rope", i would never have travelled without SO, and due to his kids and their issues with BM2, he wouldn't have been able to go.
 

SAME! When I finally decided to live separately from my ex Disneyland dad and his feral kids and their breeder by proxy....I realized how much more I was able to focus on my own kid's needs (her bio dad is a loser deadbeat) plus my needs because I wasn't being bogged down expending mental energy on trying to plan (and possibly pay for him/his kids to attach themselves into every facet of my life/travel. I could just up and go without having to consult,

endure guilt trips if I didn't invite/pay for his insta-Brady bunch, or beg him/his bumps on logs to clean up after themselves while I was gone so I didn't have to return to half ass cleaned house....

 

SD24 is still living with SO. Well, her cats are. She is rarely there and nobody knows where she really spends her time. SO seems to have given up and she comes and goes as she pleases.
 

As long as her belongings are still there then

she lives there.

 

Now this is just me....but i personally REFUSE to live with adult skids. I mean dude would have to bank multiple 7 figures for me to put up with some other woman's kids living in my home disturbing my peace indefinitely.... no ma'am 

Ive spent 3 years taken "hostage" as that unsuspecting "free nanny/maid/chef/uber/etc" and read one too many horror stories in the Adult Stepkid thread to not even allow myself to get remotely trapped in that situation ever again.
 

IBM2 has started "flaking" again, recently leaving town on her custody weekend without telling anyone, so SO has had to keep SS13 more. SS20 has a gf and has not been making himself as available to pick up SO and BM2's slack

OF COURSE she's flaking. Why get paid child support to support their own child when they can get paid to dump

the kids on whoever and no one checks their sh*tty behavior. 
 

Id report that flaking c*nt so fast her head would spin. Unless she's taking her kids with her on that vacay, I'd Drag her into court so quick she'd have to pay lawyers to defend her trifling behavior instead of paying for some vacation.

20yo ss is NOT the free childcare and the trifling parents need to either do their job to take care Of the kids they chose to bring into The world or properly compensate trusted people to help. 
 

Good thing you never got sucked into being their free "hired" help 

 

#freedom

#ftk

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Mon, 02/19/2024 - 10:52am

Im glad you are at peace. But mad for you still. SO is not acting right. Still. You can do much better, and I am confident when its the right time for you, you WILL do much better (for YOU).

Yay! Congrats on graduating senior. And super yaya congrats on college graduate Biggrin