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AJanie's Blog

How were YOUR parents/step parents?

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Off topic kind of, just wanted to start a discussion.

How were your parents and is the way you were raised similar to how you raise your kids/skids?

My mother is toxic and just sent me a string of obnoxious messages so it got me thinking.

Growing up, my mom hated me. Not openly, of course, but I felt it. She is all about image and keeping up the facade, however.

Having your OWN bio kid

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I am not pregnant and yes, I know it isn't a brilliant idea due to the state of my marriage; this post is more of a curiosity post. I am a couple years away from 35 and I do want a biological child. I want one. Just one. My one experience, something that is mine.

I will say, I am fucking TERRIFIED of pregnancy and childbirth. And post partum depression. And breastfeeding. And lack of sleep. And autism. And the kid inheriting my anxiety. It is all so... unknown to me. How did you bio moms DEAL?

Frugal S-Talkers, share your tips, tricks...

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Figured it might be useful to share some of my money saving tips and see what others have to say.

I actually quite enjoy bargain shopping (although I would rather be rich, but anyway) and if I had time to be an "extreme couponer" I would.

Some ways I save:

-Grocery shop at Aldi. Save an average of $50 per week.

- Skids clothes at Savers. SIX outfits total for $27 bucks last time I went. All good quality. (Justice, Gap, etc.)

-Suave bath products.

-Dollar Tree for cards, birthday bags, holiday decor.

Quelling my anger seems to be helping.

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Hey everyone. I re-read all of the responses to my last post over the weekend and took something valuable out of each of them. I don't want any of the lovely ladies who responded to think I was just going to go full on submissive mode and let DH walk all over me. I was feeling very vulnerable last week and it was good to read the empowering posts to remind myself that a marriage is GIVE and TAKE. Not give and give and give...

DH's wandering eye update

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Every response I got yesterday from you people was awesome and appreciated. I was able to vent my heart out to someone other than my best friend who has her own shit to deal with. I am truly grateful.

Last night I sat in my room and chain smoked cigarettes (I quit in 2008 but decided last night I wanted to drown in smoke and sorrow) and really thought long and hard. I was crying because I know the odds are stacked against us and that all signs point to it not working out. That is so hard for me to admit to myself.

DH and his cyber-wandering eye.

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Probably no surprise to anyone who has read my blog posts that my marriage has been strained. It has been awhile since I have felt good about myself about much of anything... the monotony of life has gotten me down.

Anyway, I "stalked" DH's facebook from mine last night. I looked at his recently added friends. I tend to do shit like this when I am bored. Yes, I know it screams "insecurity."

Child support is bullshit. There, I said it.

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I want to know if others, especially bio moms, feel that child support is outrageous extortion, like I do. (Not in the case of absentee dead beat dads... it serves a purpose in SOME instances.)

DH owes a large sum in arrears as he foolishly represented himself pro se for a couple of years and often handed the bitch cash, never got a receipt, etc. This is his fault. All he ever wanted was 50/50 custody. Split things as equally as possible. But BM would never have it... the second they split up he was an unfit demon.

$7,000 for BM to still do whatever she wants? COOL!

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DH has a $7,000 and climbing legal fees bill for his new schedule which was recently put in Court order. I almost threw up when I saw the bill. BM fights everything tooth and nail so he was in court over and over again.

Since the order entered BM is chronically late, switches drop off locations last minute and now today pulled a no show! When she finally answered his call she said she was taking them to a baseball game and hung up on him. She has the skids an average of 23 days per month and still will rip his court ordered day from him when she feels like it.

Well I accomplished the no more co-sleeping, now to keep BM at bay.

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I can finally say I accomplished something in my household. After months of DH ignoring my wishes about SS in the bed, he has finally cut the cord and put his foot down.

Friday after work I knew the skids were there and I felt the wave of dread wash over me, so I made a pit stop at the bar where I ordered 2 draft beers and some spinach artichoke dip and found my zen.

CO-SLEEPING someone send me a link to a study that proves it is not healthy!

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I can't find a good article or any good research regarding co-sleeping with a stepkid.

I woke up and once again found that SS9 had weasled his way into the bed and DH allowed it. I lost my shit and said I am moving out if it happens again! He does not respect my boundaries! Enough is enough!

Our former therapist actually told us she "saw nothing wrong" with the co-sleeping. I was rendered speechless.

I have read a lot of mixed opinions on the topic. Some moms appear to be all for it.

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