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AngeLily's Blog

pms? or have I just lost it?

AngeLily's picture

Damn near everything pisses me off right now. Work, hubby, kids (every last one of the five of them), family members, in laws, holidays, bills, both bm's, my xh, friends, EVERYTHING! I feel like a toy wound up too tight. Not looking forward to yss weekend when I'm trying to get sleep while on graves. Last week, dh had to yell at him for waking the baby less than two minutes after telling him to be quiet because she was sleeping. Oss keeps saying to both dh and I how much he wants to come visit, but then doesn't.

cant take much more

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The stress is getting to be too much. If I could I would go back in time and never marry the first time. I wouldn't have my boys but I don't really now. OBS won't see me hardly thanks to PAS. YBS is so much like his father with the lying and drama I cannot enjoy when things are going well. I feel like telling him to just go and try to come up with cs for them. I feel like a failure in every sense of the meaning in regards to them. I should have left their abusive father before the wedding. Maybe I wouldn't hurt so much now....

XH rant.....

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I was thankful that last evening went uneventfully with YSS and the other kids. But I am still on edge. XH is manipulating and conniving and when he doesn't have a GF he focuses on me and trying to hurt me in any way possible.
So apparently he doesn't have a GF again....
Nothing has happened yet, but I am waiting. Wasted time thinking about him may be all that comes of it, but he has tried so hard to make me miserable I can't help it.
What did he do? Drove past my house.

Half way through....

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Half way through the weekend. Quite happy with how last evening went. I didn't flip out over things (wanted to but didn't) DH actually corrected YSS speech before I did. I had no problems saying "don't hit" to YSS when he smacked YBS in the arm. No problem saying "you play with hers" to YSS when he was whining that the baby was messing with his toys and DH even BACKED me. Talk about an OMG moment. When he asked if he could go play video games I simply turned to my DH and said "can he pick up his toys in here first?" calmly.

random off subject

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Dh and I work at the same place. He texts, asks how my day is going, what's going on and such. I tell him. And he proceeds to tell me what I should be doing about a situation. One - I didn't ask for advice. Two - I know how to do my job. You asked what was going on. I told you. Cripes, I didn't ask for help I was telling you what was going on and don't tell me what I should be doing based on the little bit if info I text. We're both functioning on little sleep because the kids & him are sick but ughghhhh.

here it is...

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The end of my weekend off. Right about this time I start mentally preparing myself for the upcoming weekend. Thankful I work, putting things away that I don't want messed with, taking note of what the other kids have out....and trying to enjoy the last few Days I have of hubby before we start not getting along again and hoping that some how THIS time will be different. What makes me more anxious is after ss7 leaves, I leave town for a week. We have a rough enough time the week following when I AM home not sure if being gone will be a blessing or a curse.

I see a light, but still holding on to a flashlight....

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So, I worked all weekend with the exception of a family outing I took time out of work for. (which was a disaster) I was trying to figure if I could afford child support if I told my YBS to go live with his dad if he was going to continue his drama. (no really don't want him gone, but was at a point of consideration because I was so frustrated) Had a "Come to Jesus" meeting with DH about YSS. Had a "Come to Jesus" meeting with YBS. Had a beer with dinner. (first in three years) and went to bed early so I could tackle work drama early in the morning.

On the verge of a breakdown....

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We have dogs, kids, step kids, full time jobs. Stress with dogs, kids, step kids and jobs. Drama with dogs, kids, step kids and jobs. Dogs are getting new homes. S12 making me nuts and thinks school is "pointless" (that was my brilliant mistake by marrying his high school drop out father who says school is pointless) does not give a small rats ass about doing school work, take things away? okay and he still sits like a lump and doesn't care. Why? because his father says it's okay you can come here to live and then she'll have to pay me and I'll split it between you and your brother.

My two cents....

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So many things to say but not sure where to begin..... This is a wonderful place to vent and has amazing advice and people who sometimes understand so well I never thought possible. I hate seeing when people feel like they have to be on the defense to explain why they feel the way they do. Everyone has their own opinion. Some agree and some don't. Not a single person has the same situation going on and so some things that work for one won't or don't work for another.

Things I have wanted to say in the last 24 hours:

AngeLily's picture

Get your fingers out of your mouth, you are not a baby.
Oh your fingers burn? maybe that's because you have been sucking on them like a baby.
I don't give a shit about your mom's this or her boyfriend's that.
Do you even know what "hilarious" means?
It is not "tastudess" it is "tastes". Are you sure you are almost 8?
Shit does not grow legs and come to you, so "if you really want..." get off your ass and get it or shut the hell up and if you say it a FIFTH time you will get NOTHING.

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