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Young kids who look up to older stepsiblings (also under teenage stepchildren)

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Submitted by Anon2009 on Tue, 09/17/2013 - 1:31pm

This seems to come up on this site often and because dh and I have long been contemplating adoption, it may in my home too.

I can see how the older skids get frustrated with the younger kids. When I was 16/17, I didn't want some 8/9 year old glomming on to me. If I hung out with that kid/was close to them, it was because *I* chose to be. If I thought they were getting annoying, I let them know. When I was a younger kid I didn't expect to be included with the teens or for them to include me. I played with kids my own age.

Should cs and visitation be tied together

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Submitted by Anon2009 on Mon, 09/16/2013 - 11:39am

I've been thinking about this lately. Some BMs really seem to view their kids as paychecks Sad

I do not think not getting cs on time or at all is a good enough reason to withhold visitation. But I also think sometimes that if these nutty BMs knew they wouldn't be getting as much/any money from dad if they withheld visitation, they'd bring the kids to visitation. Maybe they'd also be on better behavior and get a job!

The Prodigal Son

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Submitted by Anon2009 on Sun, 09/15/2013 - 12:00pm

I know this has been mentioned here on st before.

This was discussed in my church today. It ALWAYS makes me think of this site. I always think of the father and how many of our DHs/SOs would forgive our skids. I think of the skids as being like the son-they screw up majorly and then turning around, and us as being like the older brother-annoyed and angry that the other son (in this case) was forgiven.

Have your skids ever heard DH confront BM over her mistreatment of you, and

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Submitted by Anon2009 on Fri, 09/13/2013 - 2:35pm

if they do, do you think it's a good thing?

I personally think kids should be kept out of and away from the conflict. And they shouldn't have to hear DH/BM/SM fighting.

WWSMD's blog got me to thinking about this but I didn't want to hijack her blog, so to speak.

I really, truly do think skids can pick up on how we feel about them.

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Submitted by Anon2009 on Sun, 09/08/2013 - 4:50pm

The blog about the sd with dyslexia made me want to write this, along with someone's comment that how they feel about bm trickles over to sd, and other comments about how cs makes them resent sks.

To which I say, it's not someone's fault they have a disability. It's not their fault they have a bad bm. It's not their fault that bm and dh won't help them. It's not their fault cs payments are so high.

Kids bashing their SPs on Facebook

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Submitted by Anon2009 on Fri, 09/06/2013 - 1:15pm

I know some kids (classmates of SDs and younger) who do this. They're in the 14-15 age range. As you can guess, they are bashing their ncp SMs.

I believe that people shouldn't air their dirty laundry on FB. I love these kids, and don't know what to do or say. Should I say anything to their NCP bio-parents (I know many of them)? Should I say anything to their CP bio-parents? Should I write the kids and say "hey, I love you so I want you to know this isn't a good idea, why don't you talk to your ncp bio-dad/SM in private?"

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