After years of reading and learning here, I'm feeling confident about a boundary. No guilt.

So, when SS12 was in first grade, he started participating in the local kids' bowling league -- every Saturday morning from September through March. I don't like bowling. And standing around in a noisy, crowded alley that smells like fried food (I can't fathom wanting fried pickles at 9 am) was not my idea of a good Saturday morning. But, I went because I wanted to be supportive and a part of things.

Today was the first day of school for SS12. He's at his mom's this week. DH texted him first thing this morning to say he hoped it was a great day. No response. He texted him after school to ask how the first day was. No response.

This is pretty normal. SS rarely, if ever, responds to DH's texts. We confiscate his electronics at night and every morning when DH gets the phone back out, the screen lights up to show a dozen unread messages from BM and her parents.

So, SS12 is an only grandchild on both sides of his family. MIL doesn't go overboard, but BM's parents do -- big time. As in, buy him expensive gifts and hand him large amounts of money for no reason. He's very close to them. As someone who had a wonderful relationship with her grandparents, I know how valuable and rewarding that can be. But DH is frustrated and concerned because he doesn't really agree with their values or the effect they have on SS. (He's massively spoiled and entitled.)

UGH!!!!

So, Ex is on a cruise and SS12 is with us for almost two weeks. Last night, when H went into SS’s room to say good night, he smelled something “off.” He asked SS about it — was there an accident or anything? No. H let it go because when SS comes over, there's often a cat odor on some of his stuff and H thought that might be it.
 

This morning, H had to leave early for an out-of-town meeting, so he asked if I would check the room to see if I smelled it, too.