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O/T The WTF that was my Tuesday

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Yesterday was a comedy of errors and calamities:

- DH gets a text from OSS after school saying he needs dress shoes for his school concert. The shoes are in my car. I am 30 minutes away from DH, and an hour from OSS. This is at 3:30; concert is at 7. DH doesn't get off until 5, and I have a massage in another town 45 minutes away at 5:30. I had time to flex, so I left a little early and dropped the shoes off with FIL who DH picked them up from. DH gets to the concert at 6:15 to drop them off and...OSS is already practicing and DH can't get him the shoes. Awesome.

The reality/fear that the SSs will be adults...

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...and unable to care for themselves.

Okay, that doesn't worry me with OSS. He has a plan and dream to go to school and get a degree. His future career is one that, while it won't make him rich, will make him independent. He's realizing he's going to have to apply himself, but I think he's willing to do it.

Acceptance and Thanks

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I started out step life with many of the misconceptions that other new stepparents have: I was going to be a great "bonus" mom and love my stepkids like my own, and in return, they were going to love me and accept me as another mom.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Don't get me wrong, I have a fairly good relationship with my SSs, but i have cut way back in my involvement in their rearing. Or, should I say, I have cut way back on caring. I won't care more than their parents do (sans life-threatening situations) and I won't try to force a relationship with either of them.

I must be psychic...

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Earlier this summer, I told DH that I was concerned the boys were going to do poorly this school year, miss assignments, and not do homework. Part of my concern came from the fact that YSS was starting middle school, which would require more from him with less help, and OSS has some pretty tough classes this year as part of his early college program. Add to that they both have progressively gotten actively lazier (they will do what they are told, but take zero initiative to do ANYTHING else - even eat).

Opinion: CS during Long Visits

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Another poster got me thinking about this, and I'm curious what you all would think or do.

If you were a NCP paying CS and had the kids for a visit for a week or longer (this is assuming you don't have 50/50 custody already) would you prefer to have the CS you pay be stopped or reduced during that time OR calculated across the entire year (i.e. pay the same amount each week but have the overall amount adjusted based on your longer visits)?

If you were a CP receiving CS, which would you prefer?

"Not everyone has to go back to court..."

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BM recently got a new apartment and needed the CS agreement for the leasing company to prove she had enough income for the place.

Apparently the leasing agent made a comment to BM about how she needed to take DH back to court to get the agreement modified since it had been so long and so she could get more money.

BM relays this story to DH and ends with, "I mean, not everyone has to go back to court for every little thing."

That's absolutely correct, but do you want to know WHY you don't have to with DH?

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