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Dual citizens/passports?

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Step talkers of dual citizenship, who have kids who are eligible to choose their citizenship when they come of age: MUST said children maintain passports of both countries throughout their childhoods? BM takes skids to UK several times each year (because hey, who cares that she's bankrupt and in foreclosure and in arears on her taxes- her children must have the richness of experience that travel provides, no matter the cost!), and she has asked DH to split cost of their UK passport renewal. Is this something they NEED to have?

Adele

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So last night I got home and was whistling that new Adele song, which I never really listened to the words to but which was stuck in my head. SS11B said, "Ooh I love that song- it's my favorite song!" And I said, "Yes- it is really catchy." THEN I realized that he most likely knows it and loves it because BM is most likely a massive Adele fan. After all, Adele writes every song about her lost love who has MTFO (moved the fuck on) and she obviously either hasn't or she knows that a lot of other women haven't and that they'll buy her music.

In BM's most recent lunatic email rant at my ex,

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she claims that I "scarily invaded her personal space".

This was last summer, in an attempt to connect with her on a human level (I know- what a ridiculous idea- I came down the driveway when she dropped skids and very unscarily asked if she was tired of all this and if we could try to put it behind us- not my first attempt- a couple years ago we even traded a recipe or two before things went to hell again- but this was my LAST attempt), she was in her car and I came nowhere near the car, and my futile attempt took place

AT THE END OF MY DRIVEWAY.

Vent: skids' friends' parents? Am I the only one who feels this way?

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BM wastes no time in marking her territory in her town- each new friend, even new kids at their school, she's all over the moms trying to be their BFF. They're all friends on Facebook and quite honestly, some of these women- when I meet them- seem pretty nice and cool- like people I might get along pretty well with- but ugh obviously that need never happen. DH says that people she knows on a superficial level probably don't have a clue how spiteful and crazy she is.

Stuff

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FFS, does anyone ever listen to me? Twins had sleepover Thursday night, which she picked them up from. Before our sleeping bags, pillows, toothbrushes, etc...walked out the door, I took a picture of all the stuff and told DH that it would absolutely not be returning in entirety. I suggested either telling twins to leave stuff at sleepover house or not sending it...he pooh-poohed me and off they went.

Spoke to band teacher

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and took one of the instruments back.

Made sure that skid has an instrument to practice on until BM acquires a rental for him.

In the meantime, I am becoming increasingly aware of what a toxic, enabling codependent relationship DH has with BM. Each game she plays- with payments, communication, chicken with activities (or payments or communications!), alienation......he is completely enmeshed with.

Heart hurts whole body hurts

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I can't put my finger on what happens here to cause this, but sometimes the events line up just right and it's a perfect storm- with yelling, swearing, and utterly unsustainable anger and emotion.

These four older kids still bicker, tattle, and I think, play us until DH loses it and stalks away to his cave place so that we won't fight.....and then something in me snaps and I just short-circuit. I am left with all the kids and I lose my shit. This is what I did tonight.

Bullies

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We teach kids tactics for dealing with bullies. Teachers must attend bully prevention and awareness trainings. Why, then, does dealing with a bully- in the form of a BM- become alienatory? Are we supposed to hide the shit these nut jobs do when it affects the plans of an entire family- when DH has arranged to take the day off, and it's my last day of vacation...when my sane ex-husband has agreed to bring my older bios back from HIS vacation a day early so that our entire family can take a day trip to the ocean?

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