You are here

strugglingSM's Blog

Insurance fraud

strugglingSM's picture

Submitted by strugglingSM on Fri, 09/15/2017 - 8:40pm

When DH got divorced, he told his ex wife, who was self-employed at the time, that should could stay on his health insurance (to be nice, as he said). It was written into their divorce decree that he would continue to cover her while he was at the job he had when he got divorced. He also provides coverage for the kids.

11 year old can't be away from his mother all of a sudden

strugglingSM's picture

Submitted by strugglingSM on Fri, 09/15/2017 - 1:44am

My SSs are 11 year old twins. One of them is very much like BM - histrionic, manipulative, thinks people are always out to get him. Three months ago, DH and I finally bought a house. Since we moved in, the SS like BM has come up with all sorts of excuses not to visit. Just tonight, he called DH on the phone (he never calls) and asked if DH could "help" his friend by dropping him off at the football game Saturday. DH said, "yeah, that would be fine." Then SS asked if DH could drop his friend off before the football game. DH said no, he couldn't because he'll be working Saturday morning.

Why this is so difficult

strugglingSM's picture

Submitted by strugglingSM on Wed, 09/13/2017 - 11:55am

I've been having a rough couple of days. There are things going on in my life (outside of being a SM) that are beyond my control, but are causing some major struggles, so all of my issues with being a stepmother have been bubbling to the surface and causing conflict between DH and I. I've honestly started thinking if taking on this stepmother thing was perhaps a bit more than I realized and I've been dealing with some serious regret.

Confession

strugglingSM's picture

Submitted by strugglingSM on Tue, 09/12/2017 - 9:09pm

I had a terrible day, unrelated to my SSs today, but was pushed over the edge when I walked into our family room and saw all of their gaming gear sitting all over the floor. I bought them a basket to put everything in and somehow, nothing ever ends up on there, so...

...I threw everything in that basket and hid it in the closet. When I opened the closet, I saw other toys that I had stashed there after they were left sitting out. They completely forgot about those toys, but they'll notice that the gaming gear is gone.

I admit, it made me feel a little better...

cell phones

strugglingSM's picture

Submitted by strugglingSM on Fri, 09/08/2017 - 5:10pm

About 18 months ago, after a sh$t show of a mediation, DH got a clause added to their parenting plan that he and BM only speak on the phone when there is an absolute emergency. After that he got his sons (both 10) cell phones. They didn't use them for the first few months because he just got them cheap flip phones and they couldn't see the point of a phone that could only make calls. For their 11th birthday, he got them iPhone 4s. They loved them and in the beginning would text DH (or at least respond to his texts) and answer his calls.

Feeling blah about skids

strugglingSM's picture

Submitted by strugglingSM on Thu, 09/07/2017 - 2:25pm

I'm going out on a limb here, because I know this is a hot button issue for folks, but I've known my SSs for three years and I still only feel a sense of tolerance for them, not love. I'm not sure I'll ever feel love for them and I think the feeling is mutual. They are like demanding houseguests who stay at my home every other weekend. I'm like a cross between the nanny and the innkeeper for them. We say hello and good-bye to one another, but it's mostly me saying hello and good-bye. Sometimes, DH tries to get them to hug me before they leave and that's awkward for everyone.

Unpredictable Meltdowns

strugglingSM's picture

Submitted by strugglingSM on Mon, 09/04/2017 - 10:53pm

My DH and I moved into our own home about three months ago. This was the first time since his divorce that his children had their own rooms when they stayed with him for visitation weekends. The house is also closer to his boys, who originally lived 20 miles from us, but whose mother moved them 20 miles further away shortly after I met DH.

Dreading the weekend

strugglingSM's picture

Submitted by strugglingSM on Fri, 09/01/2017 - 9:08pm

My SSs are on their way to our house and I'm already filled with a sense of dread.

They are not terrible kids, but they are immature and entitled. They are in middle school, yet if they ask to do something and you tell them no or "not today" they ask at least five or six more times. One of the also has regular crying, screaming temper tantrums and has to call his mother twice a day, leading to an endless stream of texts from her about all the things this child wants but "doesn't feel comfortable" asking us for.

Pages