So DH indirectly asked Ss if he discussed the holiday schedule with BM. He said I have no idea of what is going on.

I think they will both be suprised when we stick to her schedule and he comes over for New Years weekend only.

Hate liars. Not sure who is lying....

It's Monday and I'm already dreading the weekend. DH told SS that we would be spending most of the weekend at my mothers getting her house ready for the holiday and out of town family members. I'm waiting for the text tomorrow that says I have
this going on and you need to take me.

I just don't understand.....

Why the anger
Why BM wants to control.
Why she just doesn't say its your dads time he's your parent too.
Why would you want to always be upset.

Over the last 12 yrs I have grown to hate the holidays.

I used to take weeks prepaeing. Had a blast decorating. And I simply hate the holidays now.

What I would love to do is have my holiday when I want and screw skids. You don't like me, you don't like it here.

The thought of gift buying now makes me sick and anxious. I don't enjoy buying gifts because of the that's not fair BS.

How do you turn off those feelings- of wanting them to be involved in our family, of being disappointed by actions, of caring.

Just so you know:

Your kid rarely speaks to me
Will not respond to my text
Does nothing or little of nothing to participate in the family DH and I created the day we got married.

I respect my DH. I love him 99% of the time. It is because of this love that I do what needs to be done to aid his relationship with his children. Which includes but limited to:
Pick up/drop off for visitation
Taxi service for activities
Doing without to provide something for.

If you had raised your children to respect their parents