Hello StepTalkers! It's been a couple of months since I posted and I hope you're all doing well. I suppose I took a little break from venting here because I was trying to make a grand effort to stay on the positive with my relationship with Mr. Ed and completely disengage from SDs, ya know? But...I woke up this morning with so much resentment, frustration, and anxiety about this situation and I knew exactly where to go for support and clarity. In advance, thank you so much for this space and the experience you all bring to it!
Where We Were
A week ago, I mentioned MR.
Things have been going pretty good around the house, but last night we ended up addressing the 'elephant in the room'. There's so much more to the evening, but I won't hash it all out here. I've been processing it all this morning and looking to Brene Brown for a bit of clarity and inspiration.
“It’s not about ‘what can I accomplish?’ but ‘what do I want to accomplish?’ Paradigm shift.”
~ Brene Brown
It's the Monday after visitation weekend and time to decompress! SS11 (SS10 had a birthday) and SS15 were here for the weekend and it was actually pretty darn good. For the first time ever, SS11 asked MR.
Years ago, my big sister told me, "I never let go of something I can't afford to lose." She said she never wanted money or material things to ruin a relationship, so although she was always pretty generous about helping people out, she never loaned, gave, or let people borrow anything she would be upset about never seeing again. Good stuff. I adopted that rule and made it my own long ago. I haven't always upheld it in my weaker moments, but I always consider it when I'm faced with a decision on where to spend my time, money, and energy. It helps ward off unnece
It's Monday, so I thought a little venting and processing might do my week ahead some good! Though far from perfect, I would say the past few days have still been on the upswing around this house. Yay! While I've been working on disengaging, MR.
Blending families sometimes feels as futile as mixing oil and water, but there ARE things we can do to help curb the chaos and save our sanity! I thought I'd start taking Tuesdays to share helpful tips I've picked up over the years and more recently from other STalkers. I hope you find something to help get a little closer to "living the dream" and would love for others to share any tips they have on the topic in the comments below.
The tide may be turning, dear friends. For the first time in almost 6 years, I feel like MR. ED is finally tired of his DDs walking all over him. SD17 is feeling the consequences of her actions and it ain't pretty. There is hope after all!
I knew something big was coming with SD17 (SD16...she had a birthday) and so did many of you STalkers following my blog posts. If you called it....consider this story an affirmation of your perceptive awesomeness and ability to stop BS in it's tracks. If you didn't see it coming and are still giving your self-destructive teens the benefit of the doubt...well, let this be a cautionary tale! If you don't have time or energy to read this long post in its entirety, jump to the bottom for the MORAL OF THE STORY.
Here we go...
You decide one morning you are finally going to start meditating. You make yourself some calming tea, light your new lavender candle, find some yoga music to stream, and head to your fluffy rug with a comfy cushion in hand. All set. Let's do this. With your eyes gently closed, you start focusing on your breathing, and think, "Ah...this is niiiice. I'm so glad I'm finally doing this."