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Anyone else feel like they get punished for their DH's previous marrage?

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Submitted by halo1998 on Mon, 01/09/2023 - 7:49am

I noticed this when we first got together.  I always felt like either consciously or unconsciously DH was punishing me for what Beaver did to him.

Beaver was very dismissive of DH and very self centered. (She still is these things) Their marriage, etc was all about her. Its still about her when she enagages with DH .  DH would kiss her big fat beaver tail and went above and beyond for her.  He would do the household chores, cook, etc because despite Beaver not working, she would not do those things.  

DH came through....another step in our journey

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Submitted by halo1998 on Mon, 11/14/2022 - 11:07am

I had to have a tooth removed last week. Apparently, when our dog hit me in the face with his head about 5 months ago, he cracked my tooth vertically and just about knocked it right out of my head.  I knew it was loose but I figured it would tighten up on its own. Yep..no....it needed to be removed and replaced with an implant.

OH FREAKING JOY...

So last week I was scheduled for the removal and the implant screw placement.

Rather than assume that DH knows he needs to be available and take care of me should I need it...I was upfront and direct this time.

And it begins....I'm sensing SD will nope out of here soon

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Submitted by halo1998 on Fri, 11/04/2022 - 7:39am

DH had his conversation about school/grades with SD.  

The Highlights from Wednesday's conversation..as I got from DH.

1. This year is HARRRDDDERRRR. DH told her yes...its harder its called your a Junior and it gets harder as you go.

2. Its just one class I'm failing. DH..nope its 3 so that leads me to think its something else outside of school affecting your grades. 

Oh hello train....it just ran over DH

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Submitted by halo1998 on Tue, 11/01/2022 - 2:47pm

Sigh....parenting is hard.  Its really hard when you put ADD, DH and Beaver.

SD is now failing three classes. The algebra teacher wants to see DH, Beaver and SD to figure out how to get her back on track.

(Please note I am NOT included in this powwow)

DH is now pissed off, scared for SD and her future and is just well frustrated.  

There have been several changes..

1.  SD has a job.  It is two times a week till 8 p.m. during the school week and 1 day on the weekend  Honestly not that much, about 12 hours a week.  

2.  SD has a boyfriend.  

OH DH....you just keep trying to make me you lackey and other musings

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Submitted by halo1998 on Tue, 11/01/2022 - 9:32am

Oh DH....you just keep trying to make me do your work.

DH needed to talk to SD about school and her grades, etc.  He looked at me and said..

"Well you can talk to her tomorrow when she gets home from school."

BAWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA..NO.

Nope..not gonna happen there DH.  I'm not your lackey and I'm not doing your dirty work anymore.  I'm no longer a hit man for hire.

I looked at him and said..."No, you can talk to her.  Not me."

DH deals with more SD...Halloween Edition

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Submitted by halo1998 on Mon, 10/31/2022 - 2:41pm

We live close to a pretty decent amusement park. They have a TON of roller coasters and put on a pretty cool Halloween season.  We have gone before, but haven't been for about 5 years.  I LOVE roller coasters and Halloween. Back in June, DH got an email with this years packages..(cabin at the amusement park resort, tickets for the park, etc) and decided to book it for this year.

Not every battle is worth winning DH...

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Submitted by halo1998 on Mon, 10/24/2022 - 7:23am

As I explained in therapy to DH..I have spent the last 15 years of marriage with a third person in our marriage..BEAVER.  I was done with that.  I neutered the Village Idiot (my ex) early at year 1 of my marriage to DH.  I went scortched earth on the VI..went for full custody, etc.  When the VI asked for a psyc eval...I said bring it and it ended with him being diagnosed as a narcissist and he was advised to give me what ever the eff I wanted as I was being resonable.  Over the years I sacrificed monetary battles with him as I could swing things on my own and I didn't want to invite the VI

No DH...don't put me in that position ever again

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Submitted by halo1998 on Fri, 10/21/2022 - 10:06am

I have found this an interesting thing that DH does.

See..DH's complaint of me that is that I'm too controling.  Mmmkay...that is true I can be.  I'm working very hard to manage that and my anxiety, which is the root of the control issues.  Part of that is disengaging from the Beaver/SD and DH triangle. I can't control or effect that mess so I have to let it go.  *****deep breath***

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