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Explain this one

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OSS held up by DH as the pinnacle of responsibility since he has a part time job. This is the almost 18yo who also cops out of his one extracurricular continually and does no hygiene activity without prompting. DS and YSS do not have jobs but are in multiple extracurriculars and participate fully in them. 

Last week BM had to go out of town and asked if the skids could stay here. Sure. Fine. 

This week DH and I have to go out of town overnight and DH suggested that DS watch the house and pets. 

Update to "the kid smells"

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Per DH he had a conversation with BM when he dropped off some kid stuff. He asked her in front of the kids if she has as hard a time getting them to shower and do basic hygiene as he does at our house. She said yes and indicated that she has an especially hard time with OSS.

...and that was it. DH said he did it "publicly" to embarass them. I hate to tell DH but those kids are not embarassed. Mad, maybe, that it was brought up but not embarassed. And was that public? It was inside a house with just the "first family" present.

The kid smells

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Last night I walked into a room and caught a waft or something rancid. I figured it was  one of the skids who still had not showered. This morning I went to get coffee and got another powerful hit of the same smell. I can smell him from a couple feet away. Hm. This means he put on clothing that is so dirty it’s got a smell. 

I told DH. Why? Because the kid can be smelled from a distance and I’m a kind enough person that I don’t want the kid embarrassed by having a peer point it out at school. 

Update to different in talking to kids vs skids

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When I got home I talked with DS and he definitely is feeling picked on and mentioned a time I hadn't even thought was a time he was singled out. It was lack of inclusion but it stung, apparently.

My personal opinion is that DH does get upset when he looks at DS because DS is very similar to how DH was in HS, and his own kids are not and I think that stings. However, that's no reason to be pissy.

How much my body reacts to step life and parenting

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My body hurts, I'm not sleeping, etc., etc.

My DH, OSS, YSS, and even DS (all kids are late teens and being very much late-stage teenagers) are treating me like I can be ignored and talked down to unless they need something. And DH just seems to argue with me no matter what I say, even it is just to give a piece of information (like "I fed the dog"). I have been calling them on it but I'm tired of it. I was getting so frustrated, worrying about it, wondering what the hell I was doing, what bug was up their butts. I needed to do something different for me.

They are all idiots, DH

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And it's okay to admit it. We were idiots when we were teenagers, too.

 

DS does stupid stuff. (I admit it and am openly frustrated by it. I have no problem with DH being frustrated, too.)

OSS does stupid stuff. (...but, but, but he does X or he's getting Y grades.)

YSS does stupid stuff. And I volunteered to help fix a stupid thing he did since BM has been helpful with some other stuff lately. YSS managed to do an additional stupid thing to thwart getting it fixed faster. (...and we shall see how DH reacts this evening if it comes up.)

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