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Who's in charge of the circus?

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Submitted by ITB2012 on Fri, 12/21/2018 - 2:11pm

Since the beginning of last summer OSS has lackadaisical about his one extracurricular, has used multiple excuses to get out of it, and has been a typical teen when it comes to coordinating and notifying parents of places he wants to go and where he is. The last two cop-outs have been a wonderful study in the acceptance by parents of the lamest of excuses.

I have no idea what to get them

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Submitted by ITB2012 on Tue, 12/18/2018 - 2:11pm

That was said by DH about his own kids. He thinks they are really hard to buy for. Back when I was buying the gifts I was able to come up with plenty of things.

Are other DHs this clueless about what their children want? I get that they are late teens but there are still personalities and interests and things they may have mentioned to help know what to do. Unless a kid is specifically into something right at the moment he is buying gifts he really has no ideas.

DH learning a lesson the hard way

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Submitted by ITB2012 on Sun, 12/16/2018 - 10:37am

While we were dating DH gave me thoughtful, obviously planned gifts. There was effort. Great. I love to do that too. But after we got married it’s like he thought he didn’t have to anymore. Plus we discussed how to handle birthdays and things like Mothers/Fathers day (since exes were doing it before we married). 

Car $$ for OSS follow up

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Submitted by ITB2012 on Fri, 12/14/2018 - 9:01pm

I was curious. Perhaps I was too hasty on my opinion so I looked up cars of that make, year, and model, oh and similar mileage. 

They (BM/OSS) could have bought the same one for the 4K they just spent to repair the one they have or 5k on a year newer with more options. 

And yet it’s possible DH is thinking he will pay up to a quarter, 1k, of it. ‘Cause BM is struggling. Then she should have gotten a second estimate and opinion on the car. 

Shoot me

Give BM $$ for OSS car??

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Submitted by ITB2012 on Fri, 12/14/2018 - 9:32am

OSS mentioned at dinner (DH not there so just me and the kids) that his car repair cost $4k! On a used car with 90k miles that BM bought him without consulting DH though it was part of their decree that they had to agree on vehicles. And now they went and got both axels replaced...which sounds suspicious to me. And DH informed me he kind of agreed to pay for some of it! But that he’d have to talk to me first (great so I am the only bad guy here). Yet DH informed me he thinks he should pay some and it’s his decision and don’t we benefit from the kid having a car.

Still hypocritical

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Submitted by ITB2012 on Thu, 12/13/2018 - 7:50pm

If DH says things about my BS that are totally true but critical, I agree. If it frustrates me, too, I even say that. I love my BS and he’s a great kid but I am a realist about my kid.

If I say something that could even be minutely interpreted as negative about one of my skids (both boys and both close in age to BS so there are similar things that go on), DH immediately jumps in with either an excuse or a statement about something good they’ve done. (DHs childhood was fine. Married parents, SAHM, siblings, whole family is pleasant so there’s no relived trauma.)

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