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OT - shrubs (the beverage)

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Submitted by ITB2012 on Tue, 06/11/2019 - 3:20pm

I've always liked sour, vinegary things and with the advent of step life I did start drinking more wine (barely drank at all before then). In an effort to find something I can drink any time and get myself to drink more liquids, I tried making a shrub last night. It still needs to sit for a few days before I know if it turned out.

Anyone made shrub before? If so, any tips or flavor combinations that are good?

For those who don't know what it is: https://www.thespruceeats.com/what-is-a-shrub-759919

OT - That was uncomfortable

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Submitted by ITB2012 on Mon, 06/10/2019 - 8:22am

Had a discussion with DS about college and costs last night. I have never disparaged my XH to DS in the ten-plus years we’ve been divorced. DS could tell I was having a hard time explaining something so he told me to just say whatever it was. I told him his dad is not good with money and he probably should not count on any additional funds from his dad like we had calculated (XH and I still putting in $ to his 529). He said he knows. Phew. Then DS told me he had scrimped and saved moneys over the last few years from his odd jobs and had a surprising chunk of change stashed away.

I wonder why?

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Submitted by ITB2012 on Sun, 06/09/2019 - 8:58am

OSS and DS are graduating HS and off to colleges in the fall. DH made an interesting comment. Rather than focus on OSS having better grades than DS and having that make him better and more capable, DH surprised me. He said that DS will do better in general because he has more life skills than OSS. 

In my head: I wonder why? [with lots of sarcasm and frustration]

So now, at the end, when hindsight is 20/20, perhaps he can admit that all the stuff I “made” DS do as he grew up actually prepared DS to be an adult and wasn’t “mean.” That it was parenting.

Interesting therapy session

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Submitted by ITB2012 on Tue, 06/04/2019 - 12:28pm

Two recent incidents with DH came up during my session. And from those two incidents and DHs reactions the therapist asked if he came from a high conflict household, that his responses and behaviors are like someone who grew up with a lot of conflict and criticism. Apparently a side comment I made about him not remembering much about his childhood also factored into the query.

Following a rule is punishment

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Submitted by ITB2012 on Mon, 05/27/2019 - 10:38am

I got told by DH that making YSS follow the no-electronics-in-your-room-rule for two weeks (since it was already on the table to change it) is punishing YSS and DH.

Its punishment to have to follow a rule—for the kid and the parent. Just following the rule. No consequences.

So I asked if I was punishing DS and myself when I made him put his dishes in the dishwasher. Or is it punishment to have to take your shoes off when you come in the house? Apparently not. 

Which would you do?

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Submitted by ITB2012 on Sat, 05/25/2019 - 11:00am

1. I asked DH several times over the last month about OSS graduation. All I know is that it is on 6/1. DH is a huge non-planner and just assumed people have wide open schedules. I told him I’d stop asking and he’d have to let me know so I could plan and I have things to do. 

2. DS (my bio) is also a senior and just became an alternate to the state tournament. Means there’s a good chance he won’t compete. It’s the only time he’s ever gotten (or will get) that far. It’s a two day affair and overlaps OSSs graduation day. 

 

Which would you go to?

What kind of weekend will it be?

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Submitted by ITB2012 on Fri, 05/24/2019 - 5:02pm

So it's been a busy week for my DS (my bio). A major project he had to do at work, that got viewed publicly, went really, really well. (The kind of thing grandparents come to see.) He's in a sport and made it into the next level up in the end-of-year competitions and is potentially competing at the state level. The state thing overlaps OSSs graduation; so if I go I potentially miss that (yet I haven't been told anything after asking several times and telling DH I was done asking). Then there's DSs graduation.

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