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How do your skids change when bio parents are around?

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Submitted by SteppingUp on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 2:46pm

This weekend FDH and I began discussing how kids always feel guilty about showing other adults love, specifically when it's the step parent. Even in situations where there isn't blatant parental alienation going on it seems to happen. In our own lives we could specifically think of many examples:

I'm 38 weeks pregnant and BM wants ME to watch her kids on Saturday so she can party.

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Submitted by SteppingUp on Wed, 02/09/2011 - 12:08pm

BM called us to see if we can take the skids on Saturday afternoon and for the night. She has a work party she's going to, and there will be drinking involved so she said it'd be better for her not to have the kids. Wait, her actual phrase was, "Someone will be taking the kids, whether its your or my mom or a babysitter."

HA! DF asked me if I think we should invite BM to our wedding......HELL NO!

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Submitted by SteppingUp on Mon, 02/07/2011 - 2:05pm

DF and I both stopped at home for lunch today. Somehow BM came up and he mentioned how strange it is that BM has a holiday picture card on her refrigerator of her ex's family (which includes her ex's girlfriend). This is the guy who is SD5's bio dad. Anyway, this led to me saying, "That's a little weird but she must be doing it to try to be 'good' -- for her daughter's sake. However, I can't imagine being the ex's mom and sending that card to BM. That's like us sending BM a card after our wedding (which is in Sept) with us and the skids and her putting it on her fridge."

Awkward moment dropping off SS3 last night...

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Submitted by SteppingUp on Mon, 02/07/2011 - 11:01am

When we drop off SS3 on Sundays at BM's apartment I always wait in the car. Yesterday, while waiting, a car pulled up next to us. I glanced at it for a second then continued on with changing the radio station and texting my dad. I looked up when the people were opening the door to the actual building, and realized it was SD5 with her bio dad. It dawned on me that it was them that pulled up next to me.

Somewhat O/T: Joint Checking Account

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Submitted by SteppingUp on Mon, 01/31/2011 - 12:50pm

I'm am fairly positive many of you will throw a big "NO WAY" out there, but I'd love some reasonable advice on getting a joint checking account with my fiance.

Let me start by saying that the child support he pays is taken directly out of his work check before anything is deposited into his checking. Therefore, we do not write any checks to BM from his (or what will be "our") account.

DF and BM's first ever sit-down meeting Friday night.

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Submitted by SteppingUp on Mon, 01/31/2011 - 9:32am

We thought for sure that BM would cancel the meeting -- as has occurred every time DF has tried to set something like this up in the past. But she kept it! Oh how I WISH I had been a fly on the wall for that one.

DF came home very optimistic and he said it went REALLY well, much better than expected. He said they were very open and honest with each other. Here's a few things that came up:

Fiance and BM are getting together tonight to have a discussion...oh boy.

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Submitted by SteppingUp on Fri, 01/28/2011 - 2:58pm

This will be the first time since breaking up that the two have EVER sat down and discussed things -- 2.5 years of coparenting after the break-up and never a sit-down. Amazing, huh? DF has tried many times and the meetings always get cancelled or they end up on the phone, which leads to a fight with no resolution of issues.

Funny comment SD5 made about BM!

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Submitted by SteppingUp on Fri, 01/28/2011 - 9:17am

This morning while getting ready, SD5 mentioned that she and SS3 will be going to their grandma's for the weekend (BM's mom -- no surprise, BM pawns them off almost every weekend). I asked, "Are you going to see Mommy this weekend or is she going somewhere?" and SD's response was that BM just wants to stay at home so she can "get ready". I asked what is BM getting ready for? SD said (in classic attitude-voice), "She just likes to get ready all by herself every day. I don't know WHY she has to spend so long getting ready and why she has to look EXACTLY the same EVERY SINGLE DAY.

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