SteppingUp's Blog
Fiance's comment broke my heart.
Fiance and I were discussing last night about how excited we are to have our baby. He said it's so different with me being pregnant. He said that the entire pregnancy with BM was filled with dread -- they both pretty much knew their relationship was crap and they both just stuck around to see if it'd get better. We talked about it being so nice that we will have complete "say" in our kid's life, where we don't have that with the skid's lives (obviously because they are BM's too).
Then he said the thing that broke my heart...
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BM "couldn't" take her kids last night because she had to watch "her" Patriots.
As I posted yesterday, DF had his uncle's funeral to attend and he made MANY attempts all weekend to get in touch with BM about switching Monday night for Tuesday night with the kids. She never responded to him.
So I just went to daycare to pick them up last night (without DF, who was out of town for the funeral). There was a HUGE part of me that wanted to NOT pick them up and see what would happen, but we both agreed that would probably hurt the kids more than teaching BM a lesson (skids would feel like no one 'wanted' them or something).
Looks like it's me and the skids tonight...BM won't respond.
My fiance's uncle passed away on Friday and the funeral is today -- a 6 hour drive away. We are scheduled to have the skids tonight, our usual every-other Monday night.
DF finally realizes BM won't change.
BM is letting us have the skids from Thursday until Sunday Christmas weekend...
Technically one is supposed to have the skids on Xmas Eve and the other on Xmas day, but BM told him that he can have them that whole weekend since she had them on Thanksgiving. She knows that we would like to take them with us to DF's family's big Christmas gathering out of town.
Wait, what??? BM being gracious??? We were discussing this turn in attitude and for a moment I thought that DF would go back into la-la-land and truly believe that BM is turning over a new leaf.
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Follow up to Stepmom not attending my baby shower...
For those of you who participated in the crazy long thread last week regarding my stepmom not attending my baby shower, I thought I'd update you quickly to tell you what ended up happening.
Firstly, my shower was AMAZING. My sister is soooo great...I wish every single person I invited had been able to attend because it was a ton of fun!
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Follow Up, Backstory, and One more thing: My Stepmom isn't coming to my baby shower....
Wow, what a hot topic this turned out to be. I just decided to start a new post in response to the 54 comments. If you need to be reminded of anything:
My Stepmom isn't coming to my baby shower...and I want her to. What to do?
Before I add on, I’d like to say that besides a few minor incidents of disagreement this is honestly the BEST advice I’ve ever received on this forum.
My stepmom isn't coming to my baby shower...but I want her to. What to do?
Some brief background: My dad had an affair with (now) SM when I was in high school. Parents split. Mom would still take my dad back in a heartbeat...is still hurt and has never really moved on. Dad and SM are now married and incredibly happy. She is a part of my life now. It's been 12 YEARS since the divorce. 3 years ago, my sister got married and there were some bad words exchanged between my mom and SM's best friend. It caused a lot of tears that night for both my mom and my SM.
Yes, BM, your child's feet actually GROW season to season!
BM threw a fit about three weeks ago (when it was 55 degrees out and sunny) that we had SS3's winter boots. She was very concerned about them for some reason -- and both DF and even BM's own mother told her to calm down that the weather was supposed to be nice. Not to mention we see SS 2-4 times a week...and live within 1 mile from BM's apartment...so it's not like the boots are out of reach.
Feelings lately + disengaging (slightly) + a great DF = feeling much better about EVERYTHING!
Lately I took a little break from Step Talk. I needed my own cooling-down period. Sometimes I wonder if I get so worked up about things because I am reading other people's drama...you know what I mean?
BM: "What I do with the kids on my weekends is MY business." ---uhh, not when it violates stipulation!
Last weekend we joined my fiance's entire mom's side of the family for a huge get-together, without the skids. It wasn't our weekend to have them. BM wouldn't budge on it to let us have them.
However, we arrived at DF's mom's house and BOTH of his brothers (who happen to be friends with BM on Facebook) said, "Where are the kids? I thought you were bringing them this weekend?"
DF said, "No, it's not our weekend."
DF brother said, "Well we happened to see BM's Facebook status pop up and it said she was having a kids-free weekend, so we figured you were bringing them."