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Follow-Up to finding sex tape of DF and BM.

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You all really helped me to determine what was most important last week. So I found a sex tape. (See the original post from last week here: http://www.steptalk.org/node/37426) We all have histories. I completely trust my DF. I found the tape in a place that he RARELY ever goes, which is evident by all the crap in that drawer. It was a complete mistake/coincidence that I found it, and it was completely my own mistake for having the searing curiousity to look at the damned thing.

BM's Facebook status helps her to play the victim during the holidays

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Just checked out BM's Facebook to see if she has anything up about the holidays. To recap, she VOLUNTARILY gave up both of her kids to the dads (my DF and her daughter's bio dad). She is supposed to have them Christmas Eve according to stipulation and certainly could have, but she told us to take SS3 the whole weekend, from tonight through Sunday. Same is happening with SS3's older sister, SD5.

BM told SD5 she could open her presents at our house last night - of course without asking us!

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SD5 is going to her bio dad's for Christmas. This is her first time going with him for the holiday, and will be the first time she hasn't spent Christmas (which is a huge celebration) with my fiance's family about 3 hours away.

SD is really sad that she won't be spending Christmas with us and with her brother. But...this was sort of expected as her bio dad has become more involved in her life and it is truly how things should have always been.

Any tips to instill a sense of urgency in SS3? Showing signs of ADD or attention-seeking?

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My SS3 is the definition of "DAWDLER". (Before I go on, YES, I do understand he's only 3.5 and that I shouldn't expect him to be quick, or have that sense of urgency or to be able to stay on task all the time...I just want some opinions/advice.)

SS3 asked someone "Are you a brother?"

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Wow this kid keeps cracking us up! He knows he's getting a baby brother soon so he's very intrigued with which people are brothers and sisters. He likes to see the connections. He asks us all the time lately about our own brothers and sisters and thinks that it's so cool that his "Uncle" is also DF's brother!

Anyway...last night, we're at Walmart, standing in the checkout line. He turned to the man behind us and said,

"Are you a brother?"

SS3 wanted to see my body parts -- funny story!

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Hilarious conversation with SS3 this weekend --

We both had to use the restroom while at a store. I took SS3 in the stall and helped him with his coat zipper and gloves and button, then he went potty. I would normally just go in another stall but it was easier for me to just go to the bathroom real fast while SS was pulling his undies and pants back up. I have a big long puffy maternity coat so he really saw absolutely nothing, with the exception of maybe a little thigh skin.

How to make Santa "fair" in a blended family...??

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Santa comes three times for SD5. He came to our house last year, to BM's house, AND to SD5's biological dad's house.

Santa comes two times for SS3. He comes to BM's house and ours.

My son (with DF) will have one Santa visit.

How do we make this fair?

How do any of you deal with this?

BM thought she should reward the skid's naughty behavior by buying them pet rats?

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First, it's just hilarious. The skids are 3 and 5 and there's no way in heck that they'll be cleaning the cage. Sure, they might "help" but BM will end up doing the work. Also, BM is a CLEAN FREAK and will probably have a heart attack every time the rats poop in their cage.

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