I just really neede a forum to vent. I am exhausted of the phone calls for help because SD decided to marry drug addict who had had a record since age 14! I just recently found out about the age 14 thing! It was for blowing up a gas station! He is in prison for drug related issues and not due for release any time soon. He was sentenced for 8 years. Two precious grandsons from them, but man, seriously how much are 6 and 7 year olds supposed to endure? CPS has been involved like 7 times but they always drop the ball because mom lies and gets away with it and fools them into thinking she has met requirements. Mom cannot keep a job. I think my husband finally realizes that SD is doing drugs. I mean she lost about 50 pounds in about 4 months and her teeth look horrid - not to mention how she looks. She can be a beautiful woman. She truly is one, but has allowed herself to drink and now probably drugs. Well, the youngest grandsons just said she is doing drugs and he knows the difference between people doing drugs and somone taking medication. She was living with deadbeat boyfriend who had no job and could not get one nor drive because of too many DWI's. They were recently evicted and now exboyfriend's friend is living with her and he is a blatant drunk. If I thought #1 I had a good reason to contact CPS I would and #2 if they would follow thru and not drop the ball, I would call.
We "sold" SD a vehicle for $4000 less than we could have gotten for it and only sold it to her because our other 3 had to purchase their vehicles or help with them and she never has had to do that. My stipulation was that she had to make payments and we allowed her to say what she could afford. We got ONE payment! She gets fired from every job. The only reason she got a job was because 2.5 years of unemployment ran out - then and only then did she actively try to find a job. My husband will not allow her to come live here because she is lazy and filthy. His words. Her grandmother let them move in with her and when SD moved out after 6 months grandmother won't let her back because she would never come back to clean up the room and it was filled with dog feces and other stuff. Her aunt and uncle cleaned it up for grandmother. SD has 5 dogs, 2 hampsters, hermit crabs, 2 cats, 2 sons, and deadbeat boyfriend, and imprisoned husband. She now works for a family member because she lost her last job and then had car wreck that totaled the vehicle we "sold" to her. She claimed injured. She hired an attorney who sent her to chiropractor - she's waiting on a settlement. We have depleted savings trying to help her and the boys - mainly because of the boys. I can only imagine the pain this must bring my husband to see his own child this way, but she knows she has him because of grandsons.
She purchased a vehicle off Craigslist that is a total piece of junk and keeps calling "daddy" for help to fix it. He repairs it himself but he works 12-14 hours a day and sleeps during the day because works nights. Does that stop her from calling when he's been asleep only 4 hours? Nope.
Can't he see he is enabling her? It breaks my heart for so many reasons. She is 35.5 years old! They live in a week to week motel because nobody will allow them to move in because everyone knows she will not keep even the room she stays in room tidy. Forget clean - just tidy. I used to do grandsons laundry to ensure they had clean clothes until my allergies got too bad from all the dog hair, dirt, and other stuff on the clothes.
At what point does it finally hit a bioparent of such a child that they are enabling the child?
She actually told her youngest brother that she is owed all the things she never got and they did - straight or good teeth, cars, clothes, education;..........the other children had insurance on them for straight teeth. We asked grandma to help us get custody of her so our insurance would pay for that and medical. We said no living situations would have to change and we would still pay child support, but she said it was a trick and she would not betray her daughter like that. Cars? Ours paid for their vehicles and the repairs or paid us back - it teaches responsibility and they have more pride in things if they pay for it themselves.
I have nobody to talk to =- I cannot even use facebook because she is on there and gets offended if I say something positive about her half siblings.
Well, until another day.
I know one thing - if EVER anything ever happened to my husband I would never remarry, date or anything because it is just not worth it. I do not regret marrying him; I just wish my SD could have been one of ours together because she would have had more of a chance to have been a different person.

I don't care if anybody responds to me, I just need to be able to write some place fairly safe and annonymous. Thanks for listening if you did.