Anon2009's Blog
Adam Lanza, the Newtown, CT shooter and his relationship with his dad (or lack thereof)
My friends and I were discussing this the other day.
It sounds like his mom did some pas, but we don't know. The dad hadn't seen him or spoken with him in a long tons. One of my friends said that it sounds like the mom had real issues and that's why the dad wasn't around.
What do you think? Do you think the mom did pas, and had issues, and that's why the dad wasn't present in Adam's life?
I want to clarify something
I'm sorry if I gave the impression that I don't care about the child in the hospital and the fact that she saw her dad get arrested. I do. She is innocent. But the case worker has to take a lot of blame there too. She failed to tell the BM that the dad is now working.
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CS
-How do you feel about it?
-How do you think it should be obtained if ncp is in arrears?
If I were the cp I would not have ncp arrested. I'd talk to an attorney instead. Or if I couldn't afford that, work my way up to the bigwigs at the CSE office.
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"Not my kid, not my problem"
I think we can all agree that we can feel this way about our skids. And many of us agree that BMs shouldn't have to care about our kids. So why were people upset that the guy was arrested at the hospital? Not BMs kid in the hospital, not her problem. Now if I'd been the bm, I'd have consulted my attorney instead, but bm shouldn't have to do anything or act any way for a kid she'll never meet. Not her kid, not her problem.
If we can feel and act that way about our sks, why can't that bm feel that way about her ex's kid?
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Mistress' blog got me to thinking...how should bm handle their exes subsequent kids when it comes to cs issues?
I'm speaking as a sm here. I would not expect bm to give a flying f@ck about my kids. It's not her job to care about my kids.
How much blame do you assign to your dh, SK, bm and possibly inlaws?
And why?
So many of these situations seem to involve so many people.
Kids counseling involving both parents
How do you feel about it?
Me, I'm ok with it...provided the therapist is the one recommending it to DH. If bm was recommending it he'd be calling the therapist to check. If they didn't think it was important it would not be happening.
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For BMs- what do you do differently with your kids than your DH does with his?
-do you love your kids more than anything or anyone, but put your marriage first?
-do you let your kids treat your spouse/SO the way your SKs treat you?
-How do you handle things with your kids SM?
When people feel like the third wheel, what can they do? How can Dad make it so that NOBODY feels like the third wheel?
I think many of us have felt like the third wheel when it comes to DH and SKs. And we know it is lousy.
But I think that when Dad "changes" and starts putting the marriage/relationship first, many kids will feel like the third wheel. They feel demoted. They feel like Dad does not love them as much as his spouse/GF/SO, and feel neglected.
For those with teen SKs...
Would you be willing to give them a shot of having a decent relationship with you when they reach adulthood, if they've demonstrated for a good, long while that they can act like nice people?
I guess it depends on the skid...some of the SKs I read about here should be in juvie or a center that helps troubled teens, or an institution.
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