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CS- have your partners ever confronted BM when it's not used on the kids?

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Submitted by Anon2009 on Mon, 05/04/2009 - 7:55pm

I know that CS is an issue that comes up a lot here, and want to hear what you have to say about this.

When we had EOW visitation, my DH paid close to the tune of $1500 a month in CS. BM requested he pay this amount when they got divorced so he agreed mainly because he just wanted to be rid of her.

Then, I came along. I was the one paying ALL the bills. Why? Because DH had to hand over almost all of his paycheck to BM in order to pay CS.

For Mothers Day,

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Submitted by Anon2009 on Mon, 05/04/2009 - 12:44pm

What are your plans? I'll see my mom, we'll call MIL, and then I'll be headed out for some fun with some girlfriends to have some drinks. SDs will be with BMs parents.

When we get our drinks, my girlfriends and I will toast all of us SMs for all we do for our guys & their kids!

I just got to thinking

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Submitted by Anon2009 on Mon, 04/20/2009 - 7:35pm

about skids and how often they are the victims of PAS at the hands of an angry, vindictive parent.

My SDs have called me a "wh*re," "sl*t," "b*tch," "skank," and told me that I'm a nobody, I'm worthless, I'll never be anything in our family, etc. But this was all put in their heads by BM.

So, after reading several posts, I began to wonder- if BM were my mom, how would I have reacted to BM's PAS tactics?

Probably the same way my SDs did.

If I had been poorly parented by BM, then how would I behave?

Probably the same way my SDs did.

Is it just me?

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Submitted by Anon2009 on Sun, 04/19/2009 - 8:54pm

Or does everyone else agree that dads and stepdads tend to get along better/have less drama?

I think that with us women, we are much more emotional and territorial. In some ways I can understand why people feel the way they do, though it certainly doesn't justify their behavior.

I just think there is so much less drama between dads and stepdads. What do you all think?

Why do they do it?

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Submitted by Anon2009 on Sat, 04/04/2009 - 11:43am

This hasn't happened recently, but BM used to tell the kids that DH left them. When I say "them" I mean BM and the kids. He didn't leave the kids- he left her. I don't think that paying hundreds in CS a month, trying to call them every night and seeing your kids EOW is leaving them.

It hasn't happened with us in a while but it seems as though it's a recurring theme on this board- bitter exes telling the kids that their dad left them. What is it going to take for them to realize that our partners did not leave the kids, but left them?

If BM died...

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Submitted by Anon2009 on Fri, 04/03/2009 - 4:57pm

Would your spouse go to the wake & funeral to be there for the kids?

How would you as a couple handle this?

My SDs' BM isn't deathly sick, but I know that this is a subject that arises a lot in divorced families. If my mother were to die, my dad would go to the wake and funeral out of respect for her and to be there for me. My SF wouldn't have a problem with it because he gets along great with my dad. If my dad died, they'd (SF and Mom) would come to the wake and funeral to be there for me. I think my stepmother has accepted that.

Adoptive mom and biological mom

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Submitted by Anon2009 on Tue, 03/17/2009 - 5:42pm

The BM is a convicted child abuser. From what I gather she is not allowed to see her child. She shirked her responsibilities as a mother and the stepmother adopted her daughter. The BM abused the little girl. I very much admire the adoptive mother. I saw this video yesterday, and I thought I'd share it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GRf6idZmbZw&feature=related

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