Recently I have been becoming less and less interested in being a 'family', in knowing about SD, even in DH in general. I think all my resentment and frustration is affecting my marriage overall. I sometimes even think that I am becoming depressed. Is that what disengagement feels like?

Someone give me some ways to lift myself out of this. I want to enjoy my life, my kids, my husband. I hate all the negativity that our home has become. Maybe I just need a vacation !

Disengaging has worked to a certain degree for me. I am able to deal better with the rejection from SD. She doesn't like it, DH doen't like it but I am better, less stressed, less resentful. So the truth is it puts the ball back in their court to make any changes if they are unhappy with the siutation. It has made DH see SD a little more realistically, he is starting to notice her actions. He is starting to notice the difference in the interaction of he and I and my kids in huge contrast to how SD is in our home.

Scary conversation with DH today. I read here so many that see their husbands giving daughers spousal status and treating her more like a wife than a child. So many with issues of creepy over-affection. I have always thought when I read them, "thank god DH isn't like that, we have enought problems with his inability to /fear of parenting".

Yesterday was parent/teacher conferences for DS13. Me, DH and ex all met with a panel of his teachers. I always go to these holding my breath. He is a good kid but very social and likes to be the funny guy so is sometimes considered disruptive in class. It's an issue we have worked hard on as parents - all of us.