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SD5's bio father wants to be more involved...BM won't let him.

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Submitted by SteppingUp on Wed, 10/20/2010 - 3:20pm

We just found out from BM that her daughter's biological father has wanted to be more involved in her life but that BM won't let him.

This is somewhat confusing.

I can understand that BM is thinking that my fiance (DF) has raised SD5 since she was a baby and that SD calls him "Daddy" and that SD really enjoys coming to our house. But SD's real father has been in the picture this whole time (every other Saturday visitation), and only recently has started actually wanting her more (we think he's matured a lot, plus he has a serious girlfriend who may be pushing this, too).

OT: Best way to explain birth to children - 3 and 5?

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Submitted by SteppingUp on Mon, 10/18/2010 - 1:47pm

I was prepared for the "How does the baby get in there?" question but somehow hadn't thought up an answer for "How does the baby get out?"

My friend's daughter (5) asked me this weekend...I was caught off guard and first I asked her if she'd ever seen an animal at the zoo or fair giving birth. She said no...so I told her it's hard to explain and she didn't ask anything more. I better get cracking on a good answer though because SS3 and SD5 will surely be asking me soon enough!

Any ideas?

BM too busy drinking yesterday to tell us where SD was so we could pick her up.

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Submitted by SteppingUp on Mon, 10/18/2010 - 8:50am

My fiance went out of town this weekend with SS3 to visit his parents. He had agreed to take BM's daughter and SS on Sunday night when he got back even though it wasn't our night. (If you read my last blog, BM wanted to go to a sex toy party and was planning to drink...whatever)

BM doesn't want to help SD with her homework because she doesn't have "crafty" things at her house -- and we do.

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Submitted by SteppingUp on Wed, 10/13/2010 - 9:58am

We had SD5 and SS3 on Monday night. Fiance cleaned out SD's back pack and took out her "Take Home Folder" and looked through it, but forgot to put it back in her bag. We don't see SD until next Wednesday now.

Update. Talk with DF about SD's behavior and how I think she needs a more stable environment.

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Submitted by SteppingUp on Tue, 10/12/2010 - 10:28am

This is sort of a follow-up to my blog last week regarding SD5 and how we are seeing her struggle with all of her different houmes -- you can see it here: http://www.steptalk.org/node/33603 if you need a refresher.

How to bring up to BM that we feel her daughter should stay with her rather than coming to our house...

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Submitted by SteppingUp on Fri, 10/08/2010 - 8:34am

I fear that SD5 coming to our house is making life harder for everyone involved, especially SD.

Let me preface this with the fact that SD5 (who is not my fiance's child, she is SS3's older sister who visits us when we have custody of her brother) has some very great "moments". She can be loving, affectionate, sweet, and a joy to have around. But these moments are becoming much fewer and far between in the recent months.

O/T: Should we push back our wedding date?

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Submitted by SteppingUp on Thu, 10/07/2010 - 11:52am

We are considering pushing back our wedding date, because of money issues. It is scheduled for September 2011. Our baby is due March 2011, so 6 months before that. Right now we are pretty much living paycheck to paycheck, although I've been building up my savings for when the baby comes and should have atleast $1500 by March.

What mistakes did your parents make in your childhood...dumb, serious, whatever...but that you forgive them for?

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Submitted by SteppingUp on Wed, 10/06/2010 - 12:25pm

I think it's interesting...we put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect stepparents and parents and we try to learn from our own parent's mistakes. My mom made some silly ones.

What did your parents (or step parents do)?

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