SS11 and SS9 go out of state each summer to see BM.
It's that time of year so they are starting to get rude and snotty - gotta love this custody agreement that DH and BM set up. But alas, this is one of the beautiful joys of step parenting.

At any rate, DH is anxious, just as he is every year. His biggest fear - BM won't bring the children back or rather, she will bring them back but really screws the children up over the summer. Sadly, his fears have come true so it's not like I can say "Oh Sweetheart, its not going to happen."

I am so tired of being angry all the time at a situation that I put myself in.
I go through this thing in waves. Will it ever stop?
Some days I feel like a mother but on days like today, that little nagging thought inside me says "who are you kidding?" You are a mother but not a real mother.
I try to push the thoughts out of my head but sometimes I overwhelm myself with emotions.
Is loving DH enough to do this stupid job known as step parenting?

I just overheard (fine - I eavesdropped) a conversation between SS9, SS11 and BM ... it bothers me because it seems totally inappropriate and harsh.
BM is a Stepmother. She has to deal with a woman who is an alcoholic, drinks and drives regularly and she is a 50/50 SM with her BF. She is the stepmother of a 13 year old boy and 9 year old girl. She also has a child with her BF - he is 3 years old.
Ironically, she USED to be all the same for me.

A crummy week ended really well today. TGIF.

How do you end a rotten week?

I am having a wonderfully cold beer with lime and salt ... and some pizza made by a little mom and pop pizzeria down the road.