BettyRay's Blog

My Summer Vacation w/DH and Ssons

It was an endurance test. We rented a cabin on a lake for a week. Although I get along okay with my ssons this week really tested me. This is meant to be tongue and cheek.

Here’s what I learned:

1. When packing for the whole family it’s easy to forget your own stuff like a swimsuit and a hairbrush.

2. Let DH pick a fight with you every morning. He’ll feel better after and wonder why I’m so crabby the rest of the day.

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So both SSons are in counseling.

SS13 started going a few months ago because he and BM were/are not getting a long. SS13 will loose his temper with her and they (SS13 and BM) have gotten into physical fights in the past. SS13 is able to control his temper when he is with DH and me.

SS8 started going to the same counselor a month ago because his teacher felt he was displaying symptoms of ADD or ADHD. DH, BM and SS8’s teacher all completed a behavioral analysis and returned them to the counselor. The counselor has met with SS8 a few times and she feels he is NOT ADD or ADHD!

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Constant Change

BM informed DH she’s changing jobs yet again (the third time in six years).

The boys and DH (and I) have just gotten settled into this schedule. Last time she switched jobs the boys were out of control, stressed, for months. DH told BM she’s not to change the custody schedule with this job change. Yeah for DH! In the past we’ve switched EOW visitation I.E. flipped our weekends and added nights to accommodate her work schedule. DH also told BM he's keeping the boys the same number of overnights per month that we have now.

2 steps...3 back

BM is still testing for illness.

SS8 was tested for ADHD and saw the doc. He was an angel for the doc. DR. wants to see him some more. DH, BM and his teacher filled out the analysis. DH and teacher were similar, BM rated SS8 high. DR. wants to see him a few more times before she decides.

SS12 had another meltdown with BM. First time since he's been seeing the counselor; he went off on BM this weekend - didn't want to change his clothes...ugh.

Just an upedate.

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I'm in Shock

BM may have a terminal illness. The test results aren't back yet. DH asked me to think about adopting ssons if something happens to her. I honestly don't know what to tell him. A part of me feels: yes of course; but another part of me feels I'm not ready for that kind of responsiblity.

~BettyRay

Tired of the extra weekends

I know this sounds petty compared to what everyone else is going through but I’m tired of taking ssons an extra weekend a month. We’re doing it to help BM out so she can have a break from the boys. She works when we have ssons, by us taking them she gets a weekend off.

I guess what I’m really tired of is the running. This past weekend was our extra weekend and Saturday was just crazy:

9 a.m. – SS12 boy scouts
11 a.m. – SS12 b-ball tournament game
1 p.m. - SS12 2nd b-ball tournament game & SS8 karate

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DH and the Highroad (Long)

Last night was rough DH and I got into a heated discussion regarding the placement plan, CS, tax deductions and a bunch of other things stepkid related. How it started - DH brought up letting BM have the tax deduction for SS12. We normally claim him on our taxes and BM claims SS8 on hers. So she would be claiming both SSons on her taxes.

This upset me and I was trying to explain my feelings to DH but he wasn’t listening. DH’s exact words were “it’s a one time thing to help her out.” When he uttered those words I lost it. The conversation went something like this:

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EOW Observations

ChaiLatte blogged about this a few days ago and I wanted to add my 2 cents regarding EOW custody. I’ve been doing EOW with DH for 5-years. We started out with 4-nights a month and EO-Thurs. night. Then it went to 8-nights a month and EO-Thurs. night. Now we’re at 10-nights a month and EO-Thurs. night. These changes were due to BM changing jobs. Currently, when we have the boys she’s working.

A Cell Phone Funny

SS12 lost his cell phone and BM found it a week later when she was folding his laundry. Too funny. The cell phone went through the washer and dryer...hehehe.

SS12 did even care he had lost it, I think he was relieved since BM calls him all the time any way.

Glad it happened to BM. BM would have been on the war path if it had happened on our watch.

~BettyRay

The TV in SS's Bedroom

I'm sick of the TV in SS8's bedroom.

SS8 and SS12 shared SS8's room until fall when we turned our guest room into SS12's room. SS12 doesn't have a TV in his new room and to be fair DH agreed to take the TV out of SS8's room so neither kid would have a TV in their bedroom.

(No kid should have a TV in their bedroom - IMHO - I never agreed with ssons having one in their bedroom in the first place, but I compromised with DH when they moved in and let the TV issue go.)

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