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A little background...I have been trying to get my DH to take our family (me, 2xBD's) on a small vacation. I was on a leave of absence from work and we had time during the week to go somewhere. DH said no, because SS couldn't go with us.
Fast Forward to summer visitation...
BM seems to have gone off the deep end, she is reportedly on cocaine and staying with "friends" her son 6, from a dif guy is with gramma, and SD, 15 still really wants to go visit for 2 months this summer. she misses her mother, brother and some friends in the town. (a few states away) We are very against this plan and it is a very sensitive issue, she loves her mom and brother and wants to visit. If she does not go it also signifies the end, it states how bad things are with her mom to the whole world, and not just in her own mind.
Every other Friday when we pick up SD8, I never know what to expect. Yesterday was one of the not so great ones.
First of all, the clothes SD8 was wearing: T-shirt (a size too small; sleeves were super tight), Socks (badly stained & worn out), Underwear (hole in the crotch) & Pants (3 sizes too small; HUGE holes all along the crotch...like 4 or 5 inches long). I would be ashamed to let my daughter wear this to school. What is wrong with BM?!
I can't take it anymore. BM's nonsense just doesn't seem to end. It's one thing after another. She emails my husband several times a week (sometimes several times a day), with the premise of trying to iron out this whole mediation agreement, but really it's just her being an asshole. She is calling all the shots & expecting my husband to agree with whatever she wants. If he disagrees, she just makes up a million excuses why her way of doing things is "best for SD8", threatens him, puts guilt trips on him, etc.
Ok, so last thursday was SD5's preK Graduation and it was over by 11:30 AM. She was going to stay with us until Sunday and then she was going to be gone for about 3 weeks, because she was going to her mother's (and DH's) home state in a road trip or whatever...
And BM and her boyfriend were/are leaving on Sunday...
BM just picked up SD for her "day/night". WHAT THE F#@%?????? By the way, it's 8:00pm here where we are... so nice time with her own daughter. When she called last I just wanted to tell her to forget coming over and so did SD. She wasted BOTH of our entire days. But I don't want to be accused of PAS... so what the heck do I do??
So we arent married yet...but we plan on starting a family shortly after we get married.
Before ss4 always said that he was sooooo excited to be a big brother, and now thanks to pos bm, he is saying that he does not want us to have a baby. He scratched my stomach the other night and when i said dont that hurts (he was tickling me at first) he said, im gonna take the baby out. I said, theres no baby in there, not till me and daddy are married. The he said very clearly that he didnt want any brothers or sisters.
There's a lot of talk on here about SM's disengagement from BioMom. Does anyone have any experience with a daughter disengaging from her own mother? BioMom is so useless and clueless to me. It's not just about me, it's about her own 15 year old daughter. When she says she'll call at 3pm.. and she doesn't call until 4pm. When she says she'll be over to pick her up for the night after helping her sister put away things from a garage sale - that she was at all day today - the day she is supposed to be with her own daughter... and still has not shown up at 6:39pm.
It's a beautiful Saturday afternoon here. Sunny and 78 degrees. I took SD to her SAT exam this morning and picked her up and then BM was supposed to pick her up this afternoon and take her for overnight. She had her last night but couldn't keep her all weekend because SD was afraid that her own mother wouldn't be on time to get her to her SAT. Which I completely understand and agree with. BM is late going everywhere and never has a good reason for it.
Wow,
Interesting how a Skid can rain on what is usually a fairly steady state of marital bliss.
My perspective is that it is not about me, it is about him.
He stinks so I tell him to shower. When he is in the shower for less than 5 minutes I send him back to do it again, and again and again until I am confident he did it right.