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Hi, all..
Oh, let the venting continue. I feel GREAT!!
When DH and I first starting "dating", adult SDs thought it was "cute" that daddy had a "girlfriend". He had been alone for almost a decade after his divorce, so I was his first "date" (awwww). I fell for him IMMEDIATELY because he played NO games, he was so sweet and sincere, and I thought it was COOL that he had three daughters. As I had said in previous blogs, I have NEVER had a problem with young women in that THAT'S WHAT I'VE DONE FOR A LIVING for two decades!! I work with young people!
How many of us here have a "step"parent, and what were our relationships with these people like?
I have been reading other blogs and have often wondered if we get into it partially because we have experienced it first hand(other role),
I Had a wonderful SM, met her only after my mothers death when I was 14, but we had a really loving relationship- even my moms- mother loved this women. I lost her a few years back and still hope to be as loving and understanding as she was for the last part of my adolescence.
I have posted a little bit about this subject before but now I would like some advice.
I have been married for 4 months now...I have 2 sons, 5 and 8yrs, of whom I have 50/50 custody. I also have SS8 and SD11 who come over EOW (also 50/50, but different schedule than my kids). I had NO idea how difficult it would be to be a step-parent! I have an especially difficult time with SD11. DH treats her differently than the boys (he treats his son and mine the same, for the most part).
My new friends,
As I read blog after blog of so many of us being disrespected,
disregarded, placed second (or third or fourth) in our significant
other's life, I just have to wonder how and WHY we stay with these circumstances. Sure, love has its challenges, but when every DAY is met with a certain DREAD as to what will happen NEXT, WHY are we putting up with this stress?
Are we all hoping that "some day" it will all get better and it'll work out? DOES IT EVER get better??? Are we supposed to just "live our own lives" while helping to pay bills, etc.?
Several SMs, I'm included, have been posting lately about their DHs, CS, and BMs not paying CS. What I'm wondering is, how many of you had custody of your steps but your DHs never forced the BMs into paying CS? So often we hear about these BMs never paying CS but I'm also curious as to how many of these fathers actually went to the appropriate legal agency, filed for support, and had BMs wages attached? My DH certainly didn't so for 4-1/2 years, BM paid for nothing, not one bloody cent. Now that DH's kid decided to move back to BMs house, DH's paying CS, and guess what?
I just went outside to give the dogs fresh water and glanced at the window air conditioning unit. The girls have smashed the back completely flat! No wonder it hasn't been working right this week! It will cost 200.00 dollars we don't have to replace it if DH cant fix it! I am sick and tired of my 11 and 12 year old SD's acting like five year olds!
ok so our lawyer called today to let us know that BM filed an afidavid(not sure on spelling) to move to maryland in 16 months when shes done with school, apparently to be with some marine she meet, keep in mind she just told us that the guy she was seeing was cheating on her so we have no idea how long shes known this guy. So we live in iowa so maryland is a very long way away.
for the summer. Perhaps she took my rant at Christmas time seriously. I am happy about it. Does this make me a bad person? DH doesn't want them to go but per court order she is allowd 30 consecutive days. He only wants them to go for 2 wks. OOH! Hell No!! I need a break. BM has never taken the kids for more than a week and once she even asked us to pay daycare. Skids continually say how wonderful BM is every other weekend. I can't wait to see how wonderful she is when she has to actually be a parent for 30 days.
As you all know ss3 is now potty trained has been for a while but we are working on ss2, and its taking a bit longer, one because he's a little younger and since BM doesnt work with him it sets him back (and yes even though she doesnt get them for long it still has an affect)
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